Suffer

Now just only morning 8.10am.
Suddenly awake just because my brain already automatic start function, automatically my brain start think of him again.

yesterday night, I had cried once, because I saw his pic on Facebook and think of him again.
Why I can become so weak ? Already break around one month but he still stays in my heart, I still think of him everyday.

Feel wanna find him back, but impossible he will accept me, right ?
If I find him again, only will make him feel that I'm annoying, right ?

I hate myself, why I can't become strong ?
Why can't become more patient ?

God * please gives me power to stay myself strong enough ~ I wish he will find me back in one day ~ Bless ~

3 weeks

 After 3 weeks ~ still suffering everyday ~ 

what different is, suddenly got 2 boys keep on find me ~ sigh 

1 always message me, another one keep call me in the middle of the night ~ 

why so weird ? 

Nowadays, I know that he already start avoid me ~ 

His fb status had already blocked me, so that i couldn't know anything about him ~ 

Message him also didn't reply ~ this shows what ? 

Actually what do i really mean to him ? i wanted to know ~ 

until now, i'm still always tell myself that he will come back one day ~ 

Am I stupid ? but this is the way i am ~ 

all the memory flash back everyday ~ where i go always think of him ~ 

what's wrong with me ? 

I'm still hoping he will find me back, he wouldn't that cruel to me ~ 

I hope, I wish ~ truly ~ from the bottom of my heart ~ sincerely ~ 

i will wait him ~ until he is back ~ or until he belong to other girl ~ 

God Bless ~ 

Single Life

Within this 7 months, many things happened around me. Started a relationship with him, this 7 months do have a lot of memory between us. But don know what happen within this month, everything suddenly changed. He said break up to me and this is what i din ever think will happen in me.

This few weeks everyday cant sleep, cant eat, cant do anything ~
my mind just keep on think think think of him, wake up i think, while i sleep i think, when i eat i think ~
Why everything can just erase like that ? why just can left me like that ?
Why these day so torturing me ? why cant i just forget everything like him ?
This is all the question in me now ~

Santa Klaus ~ can help me wash away all my memory ~ i feel very san fu a ~ T.T
wanted to cry out loud also cant ~ HELP !!!! 

FRIEND~SHIP

What does friendship really mean ? 

If u had viewed my facebook these few days ~ sure u will know what had happened to me ~ 

This few weeks totally stress out ~ unhappy ~ many thing to worry about it ~ 

assignment, presentation, exam, friendship ~ 

As who are my college friend, all know both of us are quite close ~ 

Last time always be together ~ but after the ROOM DIVISION assignment, it make me change my mind ~ 

I'm started don't understand her ~ I HATE her attitude ~ 

I had did my best to make our group to perform a better work, but at last i just feel that i'm just a stupid girl ~ 

What i had done, she just don appreciate it ~ I really don't want because of her, i get bad result because our group assignment is depend on group performance not individual. 

Pls ~ can just give me abit of corporate ? jus abit ? and it's enough ~ 

But i had decide, this will be the last time i will be group with her ~ yes, I'm bad , I'm cruel ~ 

But this only the way i can help myself, i don't have so much money to retake my exam or course ~ 

I don wan because of u , I get low CGPA on this semester ~ 

SORRY ~!!!!!! 

Next ~ 

To him, i felt wanna chat more to him ~ 

understand him ~  listen to his story ~ 

but i really don knw hw to start with ~ 

E-mail ? FB chat box ? Or message ? 

sure he will feel weird ~ y suddenly i will find him chat ~ 

After graduate, we had less chat to each other ~ 

I know that, maybe few months later ~ 

he will forget me ~ this friend ~ i do believe it ~ 

but .............. Haiz ~ 

I cant change anything ~ just care of him secretly ~ 

My secondary gang also ~ slowly ~ less contact ~ 

will our friendship last long ? hope so ~ 

Chao ~  

Stress out

Stress Stress Stress ~ Jus hand up my journal today ~ Presentation coming ~
Presentation finished ~ PDS test coming ~ over that ~ EAP presentation come ~ after that ~ FINAL EXAM come ~!!!!! OMG ~!!!! stress OUT ~!!!! ><

3 weeks left, have to done all of this ~ 4 THICK book are waiting for me to read them ~~~ is time for me to study hard ~ fight for my 3.5 CGPA and 3 sem ~~~ time pass so fast huh ~ =)

But always have to think positively ~ this is what i had learn from my senior ~
add water add water ~ =P




PERSONALITY
- yes, I'm a girl who easy get jealous
- yes, I'm a low self-esteem person
- yes, i know i can do it , but always i will lose because of myself confidence
- yes, i will do the thing well if i wanted to
- yes, I will easily fall in love to someone if they do really love me
- yes, I will easily believe to other ppl

what to do  ? it is me ~ RACHEL BONG
the real me ~ nt the fake one ~ not the one who wearing mask ~
HOW ? but no one will appreciate it ~ HAIZ ~
thing always easily come and easily go ~ jus learn how to forgive to forget lu ~







ok la ~ jus bull shit some of my feeling nw ~ =P
got to continue study ~ ciao ~ have a nice weekend ~ =)

Miss

Today I'm in the bad mood ~
Suddenly i don't know who i can talk to and where is all my friend?

Suddenly i miss the day in year 2009~
I miss the moment, until now i still can't forget about it....
will the person still remember the day ?

Ya, i know we are impossible anymore ... but since year 2009 until now i still cant forget about it ...

Really feel that he will find me back, really feel we can back like last time ~
hope that he will send msg to me ~ 
but is impossible ~ i'm nt his type ... i knw ~

Rachel Bong should not think that anymore ~ and this will be the last time to think of him ~ I swear ~

Ciao ~ >< 

Few months later ~ report

Hi, finally i'm back to blogger and continue my report =)

Within these few months, there were many thing happen around ..
Just finish my course work, but preparing my final exam which is coming 3 weeks later ... after that will have a sem break and continue my 3rd semester ... =)

1. My parent start to give me a little bit of FREEDOM !!!

- They start allow me to have relationship while i'm studying my diploma
- They even asked me do there have any more like me at college
- They started allow me hang out few time in a month
- can say that they are not that strict to me anymore but i knw the limit la ~ =)


2.Boy

- after april orientation, there were 3 junior like me , but all elder then me ...
- at last, i knew what kind of ppl they are, I jus don knw why, in ther trend ... Like someone need a " NAME LIST " jus like can get this girl , then will go for another one .... Hate these kind of girl ...
- Even some of boy think that calling girl's friend " dear, babe,darling " is normal ... what thinking they are ? strange ....
- at the last, i knew that one of our college famous student, who is my senior too ... like me , such a unbelievable news that make me cant imagine that will happen on me ...


3. Friend

- few weeks before, me because of my assignment, I quarrel with my friend ....
- i don like last min work, which this sem all my assignment can say is doing in " lastminute.com"
i'm not blaming who, but i really don like ... maybe is my fault, is my own business .... but jus let me calm down ... maybe we cant work together as a group because for sure it will let us become enemy ...  I don wan to become like that ~ so .... maybe next sem i wont group together wit he/she ... sorry to say that but is for ur own n my good ... hope u will understand me ....

4. My past

- Viewed his blog, let me felt that he is a emo person
- every time think negatively , in his world were always grey in color ....
-  so i try to become a stranger, hope that i can help me ... even we cant be together , but i still hope that in his world there are a rainbow
- will he share with me his story ? will he jus treat me as close friend ? i hope so ~ =)

last ~ what i wanted to say is ~
is time for me to sleep ~ hahaah ~ =P
any news , will update soon ~

STAY TUNED ~! ^^
love u guys